“I felt guilty for feeling lost.”
Pregnancy is a rollercoaster of emotions, and every ride is completely different.
The New York Times recently reached out to women to share their feelings about the shift in identity they experienced when becoming a mother.
An astonishing 1,300 people responded and the result is a six-part series of hard-hitting animated videos entitled “Conception”. Covering issues such as infertility and gender identity, the clips highlight the difficult choices involved in motherhood and parenting.
In one of the videos, a young girl named Marie describes the moment she found out she was pregnant, having taken a test in a bathroom stall in McDonald’s.
“I watched the line turn pink. I loved being young and feeling like anything was possible, and I knew in that instant I was never going to feel that way again,” explains Marie, who was just 17.
Giving birth, Marie fell in love with her daughter: “From the first time I saw her I wanted her to have everything.” Yet as she went through the motions of raising her child, studying and working, she admits something wasn’t quite right.
“I just didn’t feel connected to motherhood at all. I just felt lost, and then guilty for feeling lost. I felt like I was failing.” She admits that she resented her daughter for existing.
“She’s everything I wasn’t, all those hopes and dreams… I regret that I wasn’t the mother my daughter deserved.”
Watch the emotional video HERE.
We know here at Safe Motherhood Week that not every motherhood journey is a fairytale. Share your unique experience with us HERE.